"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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thumbs up!

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A hayride would be fun.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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minorities

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equality for women

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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