2+2= 478

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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i like pie

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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