Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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Hi Adam,

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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minorities

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equality for women

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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