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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

A black guy gets arrested...

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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