Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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9/11

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I like turtoes.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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