i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Yo Mamma

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Womens rights

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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YOLO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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Politics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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