A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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2+2= 478

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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