What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I like turtoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whats green and tasty? Snot

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +142

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops