What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Jesus wept.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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