What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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The white guy did it!

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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