What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Miami Heat.

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Asian NASCAR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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