A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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2+2= 478

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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The white guy did it!

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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