A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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I like turtoes.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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The NBA lockout

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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