why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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The NBA lockout

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Obama 2012

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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