What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

LOL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Libraries.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops