A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I like turtoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

thumb_up thumb_down +69

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

96

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops