What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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96

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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