How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

who farted i did :]

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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