Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -82

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

thumb_up thumb_down +53

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Itookasipasoda

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops