Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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i have cancer

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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