Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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LOL -LOL GUY

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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