Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

A baby seal walks into a club.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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