Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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