A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Christians

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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The NBA lockout

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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The white guy did it!

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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LOL -LOL GUY

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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