A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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who farted i did :]

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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Runescape.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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The NBA lockout

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops