roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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The white guy did it!

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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LOL -LOL GUY

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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Your momma's so fat...

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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