What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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The NBA lockout

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Sonic

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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