if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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equality for women

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops