What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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