what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down -24

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -172

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops