One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

GIVE

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

What?

A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

I've got a boner

make me a sandwich!

someone called a frog a frog

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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