- Anti Joke

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

The meme walks out of the bar.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

Q:Why did the leaf fall out of the tree? A:Because the earths mass causes a pull force towards it at 9.81 meters/second which is called gravity. Gravity was discovered by Sir Issac Newton who was born on December 25, 1642 and passed on March 7, 1727.Newton's work has been said "to distinctly advance every branch of mathematics then studied. His work on the subject usually referred to as fluxions or calculus is seen, for example, in a manuscript of October 1666, now published among Newton's mathematical papers. A related subject was infinite series. Newton's manuscript "De analysi per aequationes numero terminorum infinitas" ("On analysis by equations infinite in number of terms") was sent by Isaac Barrow to John Collins in June 1669: in August 1669 Barrow identified its author to Collins as "Mr Newton, a fellow of our College, and very young ... but of an extraordinary genius and proficiency in these things". Newton later became involved in a dispute with Leibniz over priority in the development of infinitesimal calculus. Most modern historians believe that Newton and Leibniz developed infinitesimal calculus independently, although with very different notations. Occasionally it has been suggested that Newton published almost nothing about it until 1693, and did not give a full account until 1704, while Leibniz began publishing a full account of his methods in 1684. (Leibniz's notation and "differential Method", nowadays recognised as much more convenient notations, were adopted by continental European mathematicians, and after 1820 or so, also by British mathematicians.) Such a suggestion, however, fails to notice the content of calculus which critics of Newton's time and modern times have pointed out in Book 1 of Newton's Principia itself (published 1687) and in its forerunner manuscripts, such as De motu corporum in gyrum ("On the motion of bodies in orbit"), of 1684. The Principia is not written in the language of calculus either as we know it or as Newton's (later) 'dot' notation would write it. But his work extensively uses an infinitesimal calculus in geometric form, based on limiting values of the ratios of vanishing small quantities: in the Principia itself Newton gave demonstration of this under the name of 'the method of first and last ratios' and explained why he put his expositions in this form, remarking also that 'hereby the same thing is performed as by the method of indivisibles'. Because of this, the Principia has been called "a book dense with the theory and application of the infinitesimal calculus" in modern times and "lequel est presque tout de ce calcul" ('nearly all of it is of this calculus') in Newton's time. His use of methods involving "one or more orders of the infinitesimally small" is present in his De motu corporum in gyrum of 1684 and in his papers on motion "during the two decades preceding 1684". Newton had been reluctant to publish his calculus because he feared controversy and criticism. He had a very close relationship with Swiss mathematician Nicolas Fatio de Duillier, who from the beginning was impressed by Newton's gravitational theory. In 1691, Duillier planned to prepare a new version of Newton's Principia, but never finished it. However, in 1693 the relationship between the two men changed. At the time, Duillier had also exchanged several letters with Leibniz. Starting in 1699, other members of the Royal Society (of which Newton was a member) accused Leibniz of plagiarism, and the dispute broke out in full force in 1711. The Royal Society proclaimed in a study that it was Newton who was the true discoverer and labelled Leibniz a fraud. This study was cast into doubt when it was later found that Newton himself wrote the study's concluding remarks on Leibniz. Thus began the bitter controversy which marred the lives of both Newton and Leibniz until the latter's death in 1716.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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