Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

thumb_up thumb_down -27

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

hi hi strager danger

thumb_up thumb_down -79

GIVE

thumb_up thumb_down -111

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops