Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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make me a sandwich!

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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