Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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