How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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a

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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my bubbles!

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Invisible Television.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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