How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

hi hi strager danger

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

your mommy so gehto shes black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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