A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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im gay because im gay

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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Womens rights

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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japan4.

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What is Ash gray Battleship gray Black Blue-gray Cadet gray Charcoal Cool gray Davy's gray Payne's gray Gunmetal Silver Slate gray Taupe Purple taupe Medium taupe Rose quartz Taupe gray Timberwolf WhiteApple green Asparagus Bright green Cal Poly Chartreuse Dark olive green Dark spring green Dartmouth green Fern green Forest greenGreen Green-yellow Harlequin Honeydew Hunter green India green Islamic green Jungle green Lawn green LimePhthalo green Pigment green Pine green Pistachio Sea green Shamrock green Spring bud Spring green Teal Yellow-greenAlice blue Aqua Aquamarine Celeste Cerulean Cyan Electric blue Jungle green Magic mint MintAir Force blue Air superiority blue Alice blue Azure Baby blue Bleu de France Blue Blue-gray Bondi blue Brandeis blueAmethyst Byzantium Cerise Eggplant Fandango Fuchsia Heliotrope Indigo Lavender blush Lavender (floralblack gray silver white maroon red purple fuchsia green lime olive yellow navy blue teal aqua a List that you just spent 5 min reading

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops