If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops