A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Invisible Television.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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japan4.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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