Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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Punch line.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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am i invited to party? no

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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LIKE THIS!

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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a

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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