Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Punch line.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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