What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Dylan Eichas

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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make me a sandwich!

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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