knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops