A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

poop.

How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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