Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Arron Glass

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A quadrapeldgic walks no where

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

LIKE THIS!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops