A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

am i invited to party? no

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

An irishman walks out of a pub

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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