Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

hi, im sober.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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