- Anti Joke

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

LIKE THIS!

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

An irishman walks out of a pub

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

a

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

What is Ash gray Battleship gray Black Blue-gray Cadet gray Charcoal Cool gray Davy's gray Payne's gray Gunmetal Silver Slate gray Taupe Purple taupe Medium taupe Rose quartz Taupe gray Timberwolf WhiteApple green Asparagus Bright green Cal Poly Chartreuse Dark olive green Dark spring green Dartmouth green Fern green Forest greenGreen Green-yellow Harlequin Honeydew Hunter green India green Islamic green Jungle green Lawn green LimePhthalo green Pigment green Pine green Pistachio Sea green Shamrock green Spring bud Spring green Teal Yellow-greenAlice blue Aqua Aquamarine Celeste Cerulean Cyan Electric blue Jungle green Magic mint MintAir Force blue Air superiority blue Alice blue Azure Baby blue Bleu de France Blue Blue-gray Bondi blue Brandeis blueAmethyst Byzantium Cerise Eggplant Fandango Fuchsia Heliotrope Indigo Lavender blush Lavender (floralblack gray silver white maroon red purple fuchsia green lime olive yellow navy blue teal aqua a List that you just spent 5 min reading

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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