A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

whats forever alone me

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -62

How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

thumb_up thumb_down +103

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops