What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

this site is funny.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

lol this is the best joke ever!

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...