Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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a

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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LIKE THIS!

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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