My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

this site is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops