I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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am i invited to party? no

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Women's rights.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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187

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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