What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

thumb_up thumb_down +76

All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Dylan Eichas

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops