Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

am i invited to party? no

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops