What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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