What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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make me a sandwich!

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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