A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -126

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

i said wut wut in the butt!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -67

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +170

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops