A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

this site is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

thumb_up thumb_down -30

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops