What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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