How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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