I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Punch line.

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im gay because im gay

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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