How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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hi, im sober.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Punch line.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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