A seal walks into a club...

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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Womens rights

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops