Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

An irishman walks out of a pub

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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