Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

thumb_up thumb_down -62

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -154

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

thumb_up thumb_down +51

if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

thumb_up thumb_down +49

LIKE THIS!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops