- Anti Joke

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

I've got a boner

black people. that is all...

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

make me a sandwich!

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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