Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops