Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Women's rights.

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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187

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Punch line.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Ted Haggard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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