If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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poop.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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