Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops