Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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187

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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