An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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