how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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GIVE

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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What?

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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