make me a sandwich!

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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