Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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this site is funny.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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Dylan Eichas

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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