An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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