Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -63

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Caitlyn.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

thumb_up thumb_down -18

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops