A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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