What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Women's rights.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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whats forever alone me

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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