why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Oh

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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