Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

hi, im sober.

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

SNAPPLE!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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