How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops