An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

smug face >:}

thumb_up thumb_down -188

What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops