roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Women's rights.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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smug face >:}

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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