Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Arron Glass

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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