Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

thumb_up thumb_down +148

What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops