Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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So you there Red?

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I'm hungry.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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whats forever alone me

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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