Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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