what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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