Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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