Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

thumb_up thumb_down -28

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +177

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

170

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops