What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops