Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Caitlyn.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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