What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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