Har har hey

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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