A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Har har hey

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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