What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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68

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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