Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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