I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Justin Bieber

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68

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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