You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops