I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

170

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops