When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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SNAPPLE!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Where is my tractor?

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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