Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

thumb_up thumb_down -122

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops