Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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