Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

20

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

What's brown and sticky? a stick

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

Fat people.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

170

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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