Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -36

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -162

A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +188

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

69

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops