What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -171

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

thumb_up thumb_down +46

20

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +189

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops