whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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Women's Rights.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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