Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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20

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So you there Red?

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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if you read this you are gay

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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