Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

What's brown and sticky? a stick

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

call of duty world at war

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

So you there Red?

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...