What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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call of duty world at war

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Har har hey

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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