How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

PATHETIC

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +83

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops