the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -55

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The Olympics

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops