Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

thumb_up thumb_down +56

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops