A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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