knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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The Olympics

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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How are you this morning?

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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