Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +83

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -37

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -49

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

thumb_up thumb_down +168

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down +132

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +66

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops