Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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