Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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The Olympics

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops