Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -35

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +86

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops