You

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Women's Rights.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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PATHETIC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops