Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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call of duty world at war

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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