What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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The Olympics

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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