Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops