How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

call of duty world at war

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

Are you a tree? No.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

boobs

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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