What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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385

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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