How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Arron Glass

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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69

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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