Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Women's Rights.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops