Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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You

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Yes.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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