What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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