My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Word play, punch-line, joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -172

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -194

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +7

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops