Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Yes.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops