A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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