How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

What's the difference between a joke and an anti joke Bananas

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

why did the boy fall down? he was shot

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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