What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Are you a tree? No.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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