Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Are you a tree? No.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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