Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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69

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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