You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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