What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Hi

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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obamas trench

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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