Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Apple.

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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1,984

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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