What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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obamas trench

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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banana

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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