Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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how did the little girl die cancer

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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