Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Do you need any assistance?

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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"Up to 50% off."

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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