What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Women's football

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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