Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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who farted your mother

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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