Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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