knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Pickles

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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