whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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I have no ideas.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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stop it ryan vallee

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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hey

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like for a handjob.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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