How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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who eats pencils asians

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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What's White and can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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Looks through the peephole.

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Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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God is real

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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