Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops