Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Where's my tractor?

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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Anti jokes.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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