whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Women's rights

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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