feces

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Do you need any assistance?

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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