What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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"Up to 50% off."

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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guess what chicken butt

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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