Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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