Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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