How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Your social life

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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