Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He says ow

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down

The horse said "nay."

thumb_up thumb_down

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

thumb_up thumb_down

You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walked out of church and said F***!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops