What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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