What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Halo < COD

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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