Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Black Veil Brides.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Cows go moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops