How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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i eat poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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