Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

you know what hurts.... PAIN

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

96

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...