Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

like for a handjob.

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

A fat boy walked into a party

Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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