How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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YOLO

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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