Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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I have no ideas.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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