Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Ha

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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no

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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