What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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Your mother is a man.

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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