What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Canada

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops