Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Ha

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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ugh good riddance

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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no

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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