Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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The Bible

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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