A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

What's dead? Your mum.

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

I have no ideas.

What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...