Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

thumb_up thumb_down +26

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Pickles

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a catholic priest and a young boy

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats better than 24................. 25

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops