How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +45

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

thumb_up thumb_down +31

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops