How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Women's football

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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