Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Halo < COD

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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