How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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What's dead? Your mum.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops