How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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The horse said "nay."

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you're a loser >>>>>>>>>>>

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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Where's my shotgun

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Women's rights.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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Why do black people suck? Because they're black

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops