What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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MICHAEL

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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No it isn't.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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Knock Knock Come in

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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