A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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What abou three times

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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