roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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