How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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A seal walks into a club.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

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Anti jokes.

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Barack Obama

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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