Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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