What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

A woman should not be in the kitchen.

What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

alert("The Game");//

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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