How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

thumb_up thumb_down

Women

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops