what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Canada

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Nah

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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