And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

oh hiya come in

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's brown and sticky? Poo

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

my mom raped yerr foot

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops