You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Halo < COD

thumb_up thumb_down +54

HARRY EFFING STYLES

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops