What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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anne hatthaway

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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