A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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save water shower with friends

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops