What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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what is stupid and reading this you

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look left ------------------------------------------------------> i bet you failed.

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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you

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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baby loves lalma

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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