what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

Woman's rights.

How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

YOLO

As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

The 19th Amendment

Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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