Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

a. why? b. because I wanted

What's the difference between a lamp?

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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