Knock knock Go away

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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