What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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