Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Gay rights.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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my penis

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops