Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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