What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Granny porn!

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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