How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +25

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Steve Jobs is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

thumb_up thumb_down +23

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops