A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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womens rights

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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