It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Ily bae

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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