In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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a man was shot.... he died

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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