An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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silver bullet?

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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