What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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