if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Chris Bosh's neck

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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