If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Jeff

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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