What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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