How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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WILLYS

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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