I have cancer. And you're next.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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