Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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