- Anti Joke

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.