Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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i committed murder

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A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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