How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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