Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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