Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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