What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +12

HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

haha

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops