What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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Lindsay Lohan

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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