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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

Your mom is so old she died

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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