A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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men's rights activists

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Psychics.

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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