You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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