A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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