There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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No your aunties a joke

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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Manchester City

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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