Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anyone can post anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops