Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops