Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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Wats do you get when you combine a vampire and a ginger? Idk, who would pull that disgusting shit

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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