What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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I walk into a bar...

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops