What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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