Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Asian with a big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops