What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...