i have yougurt mit traktor

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Barack Obama

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Julian Ha.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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