Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops