Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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knock knock come in !

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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