What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops