"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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