Chuck Norris.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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João Duarte reads this.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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Bitch

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Whats funny? Your face.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Women drivers...

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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