I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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