You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

How Do You Fart Eat Beans

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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