How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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