Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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women's rights

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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