Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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