How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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