I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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