What happens when a Republican accidentally walks into a Gay/Straight Alliance meeting? The man asks if he is in the right place. He apologizes and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +168

A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

thumb_up thumb_down +212

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? I have it's actually really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Your mother is so stupid that ran into a large pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -212

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -The Pizza you ordered. -Oh thank you very much. -That'll be $10. -Here you go. -Thank you very much, sir. Enjoy your meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +264

How do you sleep? With a knife I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico......with a knife I'm going to the restroom, with a knife. How do you do a back flip with no hands? With a knife. What is 2 plus 2? The answer is 4, with a knife. Would like you like to go see a movie with me...with a knife? Today, I'm going to show you how bake a strawberry chocolate cake...with knife. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...with a knife. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side....with a knife. A man walks to a bar and orders a shot of vodka....with a knife. Omg, I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall today....with a knife. In Soviet Russia, blah blah blah, with a knife. How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? 1, with a knife. I'll be back in time for dinner, I'm going to the gym and work on my abs....with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A delicious and hearty breakfast that lowers cholesterol and is good for the heart

thumb_up thumb_down +200

When you see it... YOU'LL HAVE AN ORGASAM.

thumb_up thumb_down -224

There once was a man from peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he awoke with a fright in the middle of the night to find he had eaten the gel packets that came with them and died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

thumb_up thumb_down -166

An atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said "god bless you". He thanked them and continued on with his normal day because it wasn't really that big of a deal to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +247

Why are black people afraid of white people? Over two hundred years of oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Whats worse than a fly in your soup? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the lion say to the Octopus? Nothing, lion's can't speak. And even if they did, the chances of one ever encountering an octopus are very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +194

What happened to Mitchell after he left the store? He walked

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Thumbs down this! Please, i wanna see how many thumbs down this can get!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call a black man who kills jews? a serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -143

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +166

Duck A lays an egg which rolls into Duck B's nest. To whom does the egg technically belong to? Neither, ducks do not have the legal right of ownership.

thumb_up thumb_down +202

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

A black man walks into a bar, and asks the barman for a pint of lager. The barman refuses to serve him because of his race. This causes the black man and any others in the establishment to leave, considering this appalling behaviour.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart, Because they contain antioxidants and help to lower your cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +186

What happened to the Atheist when he died? No one knows because there's no proof God does or does not exist and the only way to find out is to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops