4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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Horse.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Guess what? No.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Adele walks into a bar. The barman says she's too ugly hahahahahahahahahahhahahahha lololololololololololololol

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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