Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Why should we dislike all the jokes on the Newest Page? Well you should too. >.>

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What do dead people think when they die? Nothing,they're dead.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops