Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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two jews walk into a bar and were served properly

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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The Mets win the World Series

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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