What do u call a muslim A infection to America

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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I'vegto a riddel for you;l Do siolve it. during the day... I look liek a snake By night?///////////////// What ams i? Rack your brains

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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