yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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