A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Snausages.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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