what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My mom just died....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Lewis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops