Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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What's worse than people reposting the same joke all the time? The holocaust.

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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you just lost the game

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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