If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This dog can only sniff marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A question and answering session of information used to test knowledge of a specific idea or person.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A dwarf walks under a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

thumb_up thumb_down -69

A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops