There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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