Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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John Stamos.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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