Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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neil patrick harris

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops