Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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