Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

Knock Knock Go Away

lybia

Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

what did the black man say to the white man? hi

What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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