Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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Is this where I type the joke?

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i cant think of one.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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