What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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Error 37.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops