Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Sex education in Texas,

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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