What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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