Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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Sonic

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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