what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

What's brown and adhesive? A stick

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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