What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

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NASCAR

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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Hello

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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