Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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This is an anti-joke.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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