What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

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Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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John Cena for president

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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