Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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