What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +22

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You know what they say about guys with really big feet? They own big shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +202

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down

You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops