Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You might be a redneck. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -25

HOLY COW!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops