kcuf read it backwards

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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A man buys free health care...

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops