What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

Peas

How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

Justin Bieber

Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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