A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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What? Why?

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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Haiku's can be fun But they don't always make sense Refrigerator

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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