Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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