Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

Chicken

Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...