Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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