Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Jesus was a good guy

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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Obama

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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a man died

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A black man and a white woman walk out of a mall restroom holding hands and sweating. The white woman is arrested on the spot for statutory rape and sent to prison for 10 years. The black man was barely 16 years old.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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69

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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