Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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