Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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69

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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