How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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bob saget

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Justin Bieber

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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