How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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The geese of Growmore

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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