what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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19th amendment

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People...

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Gestapo.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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neil likes pube toast

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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