How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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poopoo

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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Women's rights...

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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This is not a joke.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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