Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Refrigerator

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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