How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops