why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mitt Romney for president.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey, we're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Surprise mother father (A+)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops