Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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