What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +273

"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops