did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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An man walks to a bra

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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Flab

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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What? Huh?

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james schmitt whats your last name

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Black People.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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