Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

A day without sunshine is like night.

What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

Penis

Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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