How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Womens rights !

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops