Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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why did the baby have a hole in its head? it was shot

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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