Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Go Away

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

European on my shoes, buddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -44

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops