What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

you wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

thumb_up thumb_down -3

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops