What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

white or wheat? wheat please.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are black violets are black im blind

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops