How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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