- Anti Joke

What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops