Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

skurfboards we love fat kids

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

What's big and messy? A big mess

Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

Women.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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