You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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