Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops