what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two arabs fly into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down

Robin, get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops