Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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The game.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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