Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

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how do you make a cow float Give it 10000 balloons

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A Jew! Bless you.

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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