A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Ben is gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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A dyslexic blind man

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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