A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops