What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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black people are white when i use night gogles

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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