His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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liam buchan is gay !

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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