What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Robin, Get in the Car

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Yock

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is there no Aspirin in the rain forest? Because it wouldn't be financially viable to try and sell pharmaceuticals in the vastly unpopulated rain forest.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,758

Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

do you have a wife?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops