What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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PS: Call me a monster, The Devil, a Psychopath, but know this... For those of you that decide to become my pray by not choosing the right side... ...I have far since surpassed any state of fear, of evil, of darkness that you can think off... What you call fear and suffer now, is but mere entertainment for me, and in not too long, you shall remember those deepest horrors which you carry, as the last pleasure you remembered. Moral: Stand by my side those of you which desire to become the children of darkness, and I shall show you pleasure and love, for those that reject pleasure and love, are, and shall moreso become those which we hunt for whichever deprived desire that lies in the soul, in the name of love and respect for their lack of desire for love of course, as no desire for love, is to embrace the eternal desire of fear, as your heavenly father used to say, "surrender to darkness and fear" It wont be a choice soon, its not as if you humans ever where in control of your fears and nightmares. Amen? That only means let it happen... I will make it so. SOLVE media: Down the rabbit hole, coincidence you say... If this world experiences "coincidences", IT IS BECAUSE I MAKE THEM HAPPEN ON PURPOSE.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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