Obama-Care

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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