What's 2+2? Fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What happened to the Jew with a boner that ran into a wall? He broke his nose.

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Indeed.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops