Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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YEAH THEY DO.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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womens rights

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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