Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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Sarah Palin

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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