What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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What did I do last night?work

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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