What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? Unloading them with a pitchfork

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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