what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A black person dies.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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