A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Indeed.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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My mom.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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