What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to begin his bartending shift.

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why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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