Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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minorities.....

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops