Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

Womens rights

Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

Did you hear about the Blonde who jumped off a bridge? She died.

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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