what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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All of these jokes are about white people

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What happens if you are in the north pole at a temperature of -2 Cº and you throw a rock to the air in straight line? The green rockeater will eat it

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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