Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

jamie is a noob jamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noob

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops