What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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