Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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So, same time tomorrow then?

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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9/11

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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