A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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Fine, ladies first.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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someone called a frog a frog

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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