My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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rebecca is a hard worker

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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kkk

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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