What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? He had his legs amputated. He'll never ride his bike again.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. Seeing a black pilot is not alarming. If their middle-eastern, however, you have more of a problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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