What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Whats Obama's last name?

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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What's easier to get than a broke hooker on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. He never got an ice cream he is alergic.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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We are lawyers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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