What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white, and Pansies are pink.

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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