Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

My phone rang. So I answered it.

whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

69

Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

A blind man walks into a pole.

Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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