Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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... i forgot the joke :p

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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bum sex lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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