Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +2

It said i can write my own joke so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tacos

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a man walked into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Star Wars

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops