What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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A Woman Left The Kitchen. Then Was Promptly Ordered To Go Back.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Two muffins are in an oven, and one muffin says to the other "It sure is getting hot in here". the other muffin says "holy crap, a talking muffin."

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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minorities.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops