Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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whats 2+2? 4

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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