Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Woman rights.

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Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Penis-Pump

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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