John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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Doctor, I keep imagining Doctors. *hayball rolls*

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops