How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Diarrhea

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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u suck

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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