What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

96 there mad at each other instead its 69

A Catholic priest has the choice between spending an hour with a young girl or a young boy. Which does he choose? Neither because that's illegal and completely immoral for a priest.

You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

Koalas mum is a slut

What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Hey I'm You're mother..... Haha Jk you're adopted

What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

I am the sun. You are the moon.

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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