What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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