How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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OBAMA

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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what do u call a black person by his name

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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