Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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