Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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